If I Had Asked You

If I had Asked you

You would have said no.
Leave me the fuck alone, you’d say.
In that voice that made me shrink
to the size you are most comfortable with

The same size that leaves me unfulfilled,
screaming with desire.

When I did ask you, you said no,
What the fuck do you need that for?
I explained it to you like a five year old,
and still, you had no concept of
what I was talking about

So I concluded that if I had asked you
again, you would have said no.

I asked you anyway and you said no,
with the finality endowed by death, or you.
Go fuck yourself, you instructed me.
And I would have to,
because you couldn’t.

What absurdity now, that you would call me
a cold, unfeeling bitch.
What irony, that in the next breath
You would call me
and cry out to me, “Hold me!”
“Baby, please don’t leave…
what the fuck will I do without you?”

You asked ME.

Well just do what you told me to do
earlier in this conversation
you Fuck.
I did ask, and you said, NO,
“Leave me the fuck alone.”
“Go do it your fucking self.”

But I couldn’t anymore,

So I got him to do it for me
and as an added bonus,
he did it to me
in a size that filled me with pleasure
and had me screaming for more.

You Fuck…

‘Go fuck myself?’
How is that for starters?


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